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Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Season of Change...

So there has been a lot going on and with all this change I feel I need to get some things off my chest. The first and foremost important change is that the principal of our school has decided not to come back for the next school year. This is not unusual in the fact that teachers/staff/directors/principals come and go, but this particular change is going to bring about some things to be concerned about. When I started working at my school 3 years ago, Makayla was not going to school yet, since she was just 6 months old. By my second year, Phil and I felt that it was time for her to start going. I had heard rumors that teachers would get a discount on their child's tuition so I went to the principal to talk to her about it. Sure enough, I was right, but at that particular time, (since I am an aide) I was only eligible for a mere 20% discount. Well since Makayla wasn't going that much, that was ok. But this year, Makayla was in a different class and so I felt that the 20% was cutting it. (Lead teachers got a 50% discount.) So I again went to the principal and she really worked with me on getting me a 40% discount! That was huge! That really helped us out! Well, with her leaving, I am just worried about the next principal, will they keep that policy? We have heard that they can't just take it away, but as each year passes, the discount might be less and less. Well, as Makayla gets older, the tuition increases. We have also been informed that tuition will be going up a LOT next year. This is also a concern. Since I am an aide, I don't make that much, but enough to cover about half her tuition that we pay now...what if the tuition goes up to where my whole paycheck has to go for her tuition? Will it be worth it for me to keep working? Should we try and find a public school? These are all very real possibilities. I am really trying to just put this in God's hands and I will follow what I think he wants us to do.

The other thing that is scaring me is that I have been bitten. Bitten hard. Bitten by what you ask? Well, I will tell you.... the baby bug. Yep, that's right. Ever since Makayla was born I could not even fathom the idea of having another child. We knew we wanted more than one, but really couldn't imagine what that would be like. She has just been so wonderful and we have been perfectly content with her, but for some reason lately I have been having all these emotions and feelings about babies. Every time I see or hold a baby or even see a pregnant woman, I just feel this twinge in the pit of my stomach. I miss the feeling of being pregnant. I miss seeing the first smile, hearing the first laugh, getting that first hug etc. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE MAKAYLA with all my heart, but she too is feeling these effects. She has been asking Phil and I for a "baby sister" for many months now. I think she just wants someone to play with.. ha! Which I totally don't blame her for.. I mean how much fun can playing with your parents all the time really be? But is she really ready for this life altering change? Are we? I have been told a million times that even though you feel like you couldn't possibly love another child, you can. I really can't imagine loving another child as much as I love Makayla, but I guess I will just have to wait and see. We have talked about trying for next summer to get pregnant.. so that leaves us with only 7 months to cherish our time alone with our precious little girl. I really don't want this to come out wrong, because we really do want to have another baby, but for some reason I almost feel like this 7 month time frame is a death sentence in a way. Just for the fact that Makayla's whole way of life will be different. We will have to divide our attention as she won't be the center of ours anymore. She will have to share her toys and wait on Mommy when I have to take care of the baby. Will she still feel loved by us when things like this occur? I guess the only thing I can do is just pray and spend as much time with her as I can. Just to make me feel better, I need all you mommas with more than 1 child to give me some good advice and stories. Let me know how you got through it and I will be eternally grateful!

With a heavy heart,
Mama G

2 comments:

Chris said...

I hope it all works out for you with the new principal! I'm in the same boat with a new baby on the way. I can't imagine Aden having to share me with anyone. But it helps to know that he's not losing any of my love, but gaining someone new to love for the rest of his life. The bonds I have with my siblings are strong, and I want Aden to have those same bonds. Someone to relate to as he grows older. Someone who is also going through school and growing pains and cliques and - yes, even dealing with the parents. Ha ha! So now I'm really excited about next summer when I get to meet my new little baby, and Aden gets to meet his friend and playmate for life! GOOD LUCK!

robynlyn said...

Well, if it means anything to you at all, Noah LOVES being a big brother. He is constantly wanting to kiss and hug on Gabriel. In fact, Gabriel gets sick of it rather quickly, even though Noah is gentle. Noah wants Gabriel included in everything we do even if he's crying. So at night we have story time with Gabriel regardless of the noise. On some occasions at nap time when Gabriel is crying I'll lay him in his room and let him cry for the few minutes it takes to read a story. Frequently, he'll fall asleep during that time, so it's a bonus. Also, something to keep in mind... newborns really do sleep a LOT (even the ones who cry a lot, and mine does). I know it may not seem this way, but you really do get a LITTLE bit of ramp of time before your older one loses all the attention (from you at least) The only pitfall is that you are usually tired. More than having to worry about sharing my time, I have to worry about logistics in public. For example, we're potty training which means we spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Last week at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries I had to send Noah into the bathroom while I stood at the door. That way I could keep an eye on both of them at the same time. Sometimes it's not very convenient to get Gabriel and all of the stuff that goes with him (like a diaper bag, stroller, etc...) into the bathroom quickly. But you learn to work around that stuff. So... the point is, don't worry. It all works out. Just do it. I was worried about how Noah was going to handle all this too, and I worried for nothing.