Not the brightest crayon in the box....

What?! 2 posts in one day?! That's right folks! This is what illness will do to you. You sit at home resting and after you realize how boring day-time tv is and the fact that I still can't breath all that well so napping is out... I thought, hey, I will entice my readers to another post! I just love you all that much!

Let me preface this by saying, I was never the brightest crayon in the box. Seriously. I liked school, but only for the fact that I got to go see my friends everyday and socialize! Although I was not blessed with "book" smarts, I do have common sense. Going against the latter here, I am putting myself out there and humoring you, my dear readers with some moments that were not my best.

-One time my mom, Phil and I were walking by a pond and this duck was just going berserk on another duck! I thought he was attacking the poor thing! I drew attention to this by saying, "Look at that duck attacking the other one! That is so mean!" All of a sudden I hear my mom and Phil busting out laughing. I asked what was so funny about that... that's when they had to give me the "birds and bees" talk about the ducks.

-Since Phil is such a history buff, he took me to go see "The Patriot". Again.. since I have never been one for a good memory or interest in history, during the middle of the movie, I leaned over and asked Phil, "Which war is this?" After he told me the American Revolution, I thought for a minute then asked, "So did we win?" I just wanted to make sure.

-After seeing many of those Payless commercials for their infamous BOGO sales, I could never figure out what they were talking about. Phil finally explained it was "Buy One Get One". To my credit, Phil never knew what it was either until he googled it, THEN told me about it. So yeah.

-One time my girlfriends and I went on a trip. When we got into the room we figured we needed to ask the Concierge about something. I went over, picked up the phone and pressed O. Nothing. I hung up, then picked it back up again and listened.. nothing! I started getting a little testy and I was like, "What in the world is wrong with this phone?!?!" My friend then realized it was not plugged in. Oops. My friends didn't stop laughing for a good 10 minutes.

-I honestly used to think those "Oh Sh*t" handles in the car were called "Ocean" handles. Come on... that's an honest mistake right?!

-After a trip to one of those Paint Your Own Pottery places, I went back to pick up my piece. I didn't want to have a lot of things in my hands, so I left my purse in the car and just had my keys and my cell. As I was walking into the place, I called my friend to see if she wanted me to pick her piece up as well. She said no and we just started chatting. Well I grab my pottery and my keys and had this feeling I was forgetting something since I walked in already carrying 2 things. Then as I am still talking with my friend, the conversation went something like this: "Oh man, hold on a sec. I put my phone down somewhere and now I can't find it." I literally starting looking for it and then my friend just starts laughing. I am like, what? She says, "Honey, what are you talking to me on??" I felt like an idiot and several people in the pottery place gave me that, Oh bless your little heart look. I haven't returned since.

-And most recently, I went to a party where I was the official photographer of sorts. My brother handed me his camera as well so I was juggling mine and his at the same time. During a group shot, I was struggling with both the cameras when all of a sudden my camera screen went black. I couldn't figure what had happened! The camera still worked just fine and even took pictures! I could still preview them, but when I went to "Camera" mode, nothing. Even in my Video mode, the screen would come back! I was so upset!! I had pretty much resigned to the fact that I would need a new camera when several days later I took it out and was inspecting it again and pressed the Display button. Guess what? The screen came back on. No camera malfunction, just a user one.

I think I'll stop now to save myself from anymore further embarrassment. But hey, we are all human and all have our moments, I just seem to have a few more than others....