And on a happier note

Hello friends! Well, school started last week (Wed.), which was also my 30th birthday! What a crazy day! Our class is great, a little smaller this year, but hey, that's fine by me! Makayla also started school and she loves her class! That's all she could talk about for the last several days, so that is exciting! I realize my last post may have left you wondering about my mental state and I am happy to report that I am doing better. We had my first Dr.'s appointment a couple weeks ago and got our first ultrasound. We have a cute little bean so far! As of right now, I am starting my 12th week, so my first trimester is almost over! The nausea still comes and goes, but luckily seems to only come at night. It still sucks, but at least I am not overcome by it. We will found out the gender in mid-October, so we are just counting down the weeks! My official due date is Mar. 9th, but my Dr. wants to do another C-section since I had pre-eclampsia the last time and she really doesn't want me to go into labor. This did depress me when I heard this as I really wanted to try for a VBAC this time around. I have never gotten to experience any type of labor, no water breaking, no contractions, nothing and I really wanted to at least have one contraction in my life time, but I guess it's not in the cards. Of course I want to have a healthy baby and would not want to do anything to endanger him/her, but it is still hard to accept. Because of all that, she will do the C-section 7-10 days before my due date which puts us at early Mar. for having this baby! I would love March 1, but Phil wants Mar. 2nd since that is Texas Independence Day. (History majors, what can I tell ya?!) So I guess we'll just have to wait and see! Since I haven't posted many pics, I will leave you with some that are just too cute for words! Enjoy!!

Baby Graf #2! What a cutie!

Makayla in her uniform!

Makayla in her Chapel day uniform! So adorable!

It ain't easy being queasy...

Ok, I will warn you now. This post might be a little depressing and a little dark. So this pregnancy has proved to be the absolute opposite of when I was pregnant with Makayla. I mean, total 180 here people. That pregnancy was the ultimate perfect pregnancy that every mother dreams of. I had no nausea, no pain, no weird symptoms, nothing! Except for the birth, which I detailed out in a previous post, you could not have asked for a better pregnancy. I prayed that the next time I got pregnant, lightning would strike twice and I would have another great pregnancy. Alas, I was not so lucky. I have been nauseous, sick, and just utterly feeling horrible. If it's not one thing, it's another and every day something doesn't feel good in my body. I know I sound whiny, and I apologize, but this just sucks! Eating is a chore because every time I eat, I feel like throwing up afterwards, no matter what it is. I've tried eating bland stuff, and even salt free things, but nothing seems to be helping. Now I do have days where I feel better, but not discomfort free. It is slowly consuming me and making it very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know in my heart that this will end when the baby comes, but what seems like a relatively short time feels like an eternity. I know when school starts, time will go by faster since I will be very busy, but it's still hard to feel the joy.
The hardest part is that I rarely even think of the baby growing inside me. Yes, I know how bad that sounds and trust me, it hurts me to no end. It's not because I don't want to think of the baby, it's just hard to when my body is constantly causing me stress and it consumes my thoughts. We are excited to have this baby, I just wish my body would cooperate a little bit. I know I can't expect to feel 100% better, but it would be nice to not think about the discomfort every waking minute. I think it's also hard because I haven't yet been to the OB. I have my first appointment in just 2 weeks and I am really excited about it. I think hearing that heart beat and seeing the baby on the ultrasound might give me some renewed hope and strength. Until then, I am left to just pray and do what I can to relieve my discomfort. My school meetings start this week and I can only hope it will provide a distraction and let me concentrate on this precious baby growing inside me.