Monday, August 16, 2010

At the corner of Crazy and Psychotic!

I just had the most bizarre interaction with my neighbor tonight. Let me take you back to the beginning. Shortly after Phil and I moved in, our neighbors to the right of us moved and a single guy moved in. My dad helped this guy, since my dad knew his dad. This guy is very nice, but was hardly ever home, which really didn't bother us. But then about a year ago, we started noticing this guy with a big truck that would come and park in the driveway and would stay all night, then leave the next morning. So we figured out that our single friend got himself a roommate. No big deal. The guy never introduced himself or anything, even if we were outside when he came home, just a nod of the head every once in a while. Fast forward to today. I went outside to get our trashcans and he pulls up, gets out and immediately comes over to where I am. He introduces himself (I will call him John for privacy purposes) and says he has his 2 kids (ages 4 & 9) visiting him for 2 weeks. So without him actually telling me, I gather he is divorced. He asks if his 4 yr. old can use our swing, I tell him yes although it is really a baby swing, but he was more than welcome to try it. We say our goodbyes and go into our houses. 
Here's where the real craziness kicks in.....

So after Makayla's nap, I told her we could go outside and play in the sprinkler. She ate dinner and we headed out about 7:30. She had been playing for only 20 min. or so, when a black car pulls into my neighbors driveway and a woman gets out. Of course my daughter who knows NO strangers, calls out to her, "Hey look, I'm playing in the sprinkler!" So the woman comes over and introduces herself as Mary. (Name changed for reason stated above.) At the time she came over, I happened to be talking to my mom on the phone, so the lady just starts talking to Makayla. Next thing I know, the lady puts down her purse, puts her arms around Makayla and they go running through the sprinkler together. I quickly hang up with my mom and the lady then tells me, "Well you know John's kids are here visiting, let me go get them!!!" And she runs off towards the neighbors house. At this point, I am thinking, Ok.. this is getting kinda weird. So she brings out the little girl (age 9) and Makayla and her start talking and playing in the driveway. Mary comes over to me, but no sooner had she sat down that John brings out the little boy (age 4). He tells me that the boy had just woken from a nap. Then out of no where, this is the conversation that Mary and John had RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!! 

Mary: Well.. should we do this?
John: Sure. 
Mary: Hi (insert little boy's name), I'm Mary. Nice to meet you!!
(Little boy doesn't respond)
John: Well he's hungry, so I need to take him in to eat. 
Mary: How about I take him in?? Saying to the boy, Come on honey, let's go in. (She holds her arms out to him, but he just hides his face into his dad's shoulder) 
John: He's just tired and hungry, let me take him in.
Mary: Well, see, you're not giving me a chance.

John at this point just turns around and takes the boy inside. Mary sits next to me and this was our conversation. 

Mary: See.. that's just different parenting right there. 
Me: (Just nods my head)
Mary: Yeah I got me an 18 and 13 yr. old and see John still lets his kids sleep in the bed with him. So when he told me his kids were coming to visit, I told him I guess I wouldn't see him until they were gone. When he asked me why, I said, how is there gonna be enough room for us and the kids in your bed? 
Me: Oh. (At this point, I make the assumption they are bf/gf even though they never introduced themselves this way.)

At this point, John comes back out and says that they need to go in and eat, and I tell Makayla we need to go in as well. She comes over and I make a dress out of her beach towel and she walked back to John, Mary and the little girl and wants them to look at her dress. Mary then scoops her up in her arms and carries her back to me. (I was gathering our stuff up) Then Mary says, Nice to meet you and then gives me this gigantic hug!!! AHHH! Seriously, I thought I was on Candid Camera and someone was gonna jump out with a camera any second and scream, "Gotcha!!!" So I politely say goodbye and as we are walking up our driveway, Mary turns and says, "Hey, what time do your kids get up? I'm just wondering!" Knowing where this was going I said, "Well about 6:30-7:00" She says, "Oh wow, that's way too early for me!" So we say goodbye again and we walked inside. 

Yeah, I'll give you a minute to process that and play it all out in your head. 

Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, Welcome freaks?! They must have been on drugs right? Or drunk?? Who in the heck introduces their gf to their son for the FIRST time in front of their neighbor, whom them just met themselves for the first time that day???? WHO!??! 

Also, why do I need to know who sleeps in what beds, etc?!

I seriously feel like I am in the Twilight Zone!! After telling my mom the story, she pointed out something. She said, "Well you know why she wanted to know what time you get up right? I bet you anything that John has to work, so Mary is gonna be staying with the kids! She is going to want to hang out with you constantly for the next 2 weeks!" Oh heck no!! I got enough drama of my own than to take on some crazy neighbors!! 

Ok, I feel better that I have gotten that all out. Now it's your turn!! Leave a comment and tell me some bizarre, outrageous story that has happened to you!